Not that I'm not enthusiastic anymore, but during my travels, definitively some things have shifted, crystallizations have been broken down, points of view changed, discoveries have been made, and education has been broadened as I keep going deeper...
I have been learning as I go, to look at everything with wide-open eyes
and a quiet mouth and mind.
I appreciate my new friends. They have given me a new point of view, making me question my own beliefs about life.
At times, that has been somewhat challenging for me.
It's inevitable that the cultural-social environment that I grew up in, shaped the way I see the world. It happens to all of us. All my beliefs, my boundaries, things I can tolerate, my feelings, reactions, behaviors unknown to me, what is acceptable, deal breakers, rituals, and concepts: shaken and upside-down.
As I read my previous posts, I can see the ethnocentric way of seeing things and writing on my end. I don't think that will ever stop, no matter how hard I try. I have a tendency to approach lots of things with an artistic"restaurateur eyes": How can I make something better and prettier when in my view it is "broken" or "ugly"?
These statements are philosophically charged. I could be
shreding every one of my own statements and thoughts to pieces.
As I read my previous posts, I can see the ethnocentric way of seeing things and writing on my end. I don't think that will ever stop, no matter how hard I try. I have a tendency to approach lots of things with an artistic"restaurateur eyes": How can I make something better and prettier when in my view it is "broken" or "ugly"?
These statements are philosophically charged. I could be
shreding every one of my own statements and thoughts to pieces.
Soon I started having conversations in my head with "someone else", that culturally speaking, did not have anything in common with me.
It went something like this:
What makes you think that your way is better? How do you know that people are not happy the way it is? What makes you think that all of this isn't a perfect plan, for you, and everyone else you meet? How essential do you think you are? What would be different if you were at home and nothing had happened? Would their lives be any different? How about if you had never watched Ken Burnes, "The West", you had never met Arvol Looking Horse, you had never met Miss N. and her family? You had never gone to a Sundance? What then?
I realize that I have so much more to learn. I always think I have gone so far, and again when I look ahead I find myself standing in the middle of this road, looking everywhere with no end in sight...
It went something like this:
What makes you think that your way is better? How do you know that people are not happy the way it is? What makes you think that all of this isn't a perfect plan, for you, and everyone else you meet? How essential do you think you are? What would be different if you were at home and nothing had happened? Would their lives be any different? How about if you had never watched Ken Burnes, "The West", you had never met Arvol Looking Horse, you had never met Miss N. and her family? You had never gone to a Sundance? What then?
I realize that I have so much more to learn. I always think I have gone so far, and again when I look ahead I find myself standing in the middle of this road, looking everywhere with no end in sight...
There is ONE thing I know for sure that doesn't interfere with any of my long list of "cultural barriers". That is LOVE.
Laughter, joy, and sharing stories. It never fails. It is a light, swift and clear way of communicating, and I am very grateful that we get to share this universal language.
It is the middle of November 2020 and I am starting my shopping spree for my family in Pine Ridge. I experience Christmas as an opportunity to give to other families that might need a little caring.
Gratitude 🩷
Sundance Ceremony in Piapot,
Saskatchewan, Canada 2012.
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