I know I'm slow.

Today I feel like writing long, catching up with everything I have not been writing up in my blog since 2016.

Never 100% sure where this is going, other than expressing my own experiences, having the thought that I will be stepping on someone's toes, shrinking myself, hiding these stories. 

I had this vision of having this blog ready and full of content, just like magic, telling you all the stories we've embarked on since 2013 with our sponsored girl and friend, from Pine Ridge, South Dakota, Nalaw.

I want to tell you about the last Christmas project, how was the process of finding money to buy gifts, wrapping and sending gifts to her and her family of seven. 

About last summer (2019) when I flew out to Rapid City, drove to Pine Ridge in a rental car,  picked her up to bring her for the first time to California, encountered an upset-resistant uncle with two pre-teen boys with mad faces behind him, went to some local government office to sign paperwork with her aunt to authorize her to travel with me, drove back with her to the hotel in Rapid City and flew back to Cali the next day. I want to tell you what are we doing this year with supporting her and her family.

2019.

 

Around October, I started the shopping spree for Christmas gifts for all seven family members. I realized that it was too late for another go-fund-me campaign.

I had started that campaign in about July (2018), having about 6 months to collect $1000.

 

I figured I would just be more mindful of my shopping/budget giving that I would be chipping in on my own.  

While shopping I had the realization, that my dream of "becoming Santa when I grew up" had become a reality. I was actually doing what I thought I would when I was about 6 years old.

I knew I couldn't send gifts only to Nalaw, and leave all the other kids and parents out of the picture. 

Stuff started happening, little miracles, where I would get extra money from extra jobs. I would sell more expensive jewelry... That is how I was able to manifest this whole idea into reality.

I have heard that if you have a clear intention, the Universe will provide the rest! 

Here are some pics of that Christmas 2019. I will continue on the next post with more adventures!

 

Stay well! 💜✨  

 

 

  

Catching up and some learning curves.

When I started this blog a few years ago I was full of enthusiasm and wonder about Native cultures in general. 

Not that I'm not enthusiastic anymore, but during my travels, definitively some things have shifted, crystallizations have been broken down, points of view changed, discoveries have been made, and education has been broadened as I keep going deeper...

I have been learning as I go, to look at everything with wide-open eyes

and a quiet mouth and mind.

I appreciate my new friends. They have given me a new point of view, making me question my own beliefs about life.

At times, that has been somewhat challenging for me.

It's inevitable that the cultural-social environment that I grew up in,  shaped the way I see the world. It happens to all of us. All my beliefs, my boundaries, things I can tolerate, my feelings, reactions,  behaviors unknown to me, what is acceptable, deal breakers, rituals, and concepts: shaken and upside-down.

As I read my previous posts, I can see the ethnocentric way of seeing things and writing on my end. I don't think that will ever stop, no matter how hard I try. I have a tendency to approach lots of things with an artistic"restaurateur eyes": How can I make something better and prettier when in my view it is "broken" or "ugly"?

These statements are philosophically charged. I could be 
shreding every one of my own statements and thoughts to pieces. 

Soon I started having conversations in my head with "someone else", that culturally speaking, did not have anything in common with me. 

It went something like this:

What makes you think that your way is better? How do you know that people are not happy the way it is? What makes you think that all of this isn't a perfect plan, for you, and everyone else you meet? How essential do you think you are? What would be different if you were at home and nothing had happened? Would their lives be any different? How about if you had never watched Ken Burnes, "The West", you had never met Arvol Looking Horse, you had never met Miss N. and her family? You had never gone to a Sundance? What then?

I realize that I have so much more to learn. I always think I have gone so far, and again when I look ahead I find myself standing in the middle of this road, looking everywhere with no end in sight...

There is ONE thing I know for sure that doesn't interfere with any of my long list of "cultural barriers". That is LOVE.

Laughter, joy, and sharing stories. It never fails. It is a light, swift and clear way of communicating, and I am very grateful that we get to share this universal language.

It is the middle of November 2020 and I am starting my shopping spree for my family in Pine Ridge. I experience Christmas as an opportunity to give to other families that might need a little caring.

Gratitude 🩷

Sundance Ceremony in Piapot, 

Saskatchewan, Canada 2012.