Sunday, February 11, 2024

Moving on steady

February is already here and 'we' are still kicking! Woot! Woot! 2024 arrived with some heavy packages dragging from that insane plague that disrupted the world and stopped everything and everyone.

Meanwhile, from about May 2022 until October 2023... my girl in Pine Ridge, Miss N., disappeared. She ran away with other teens. She was in big trouble, being a teenager, with no mom or dad around It would have been an unexpected surprise if she had stayed in school like any other teenager. Drugs are rampant in the reservation and without a dedicated responsible adult guiding her steps, it was almost predictable that she was going to get into this dark aisle. 

Since the day I visited her in Pine Ridge in 2017 based on her life experiences, environment, and statistics, I put this option on my brain shelf: this scenario, (or worse) was a possible outcome. Even though I was "prepared", this deeply upset me. 

She was nowhere to be found, for weeks, wandering the streets of Pine Ridge with another bunch of teens in a similar situation. Thankfully, she still remembered my phone number, so she would call me when she was hungry, crying, upset, or high... She would share that she was hungry and cold...that she was living in an abandoned trailer (without running water or electricity) with four or five other kids, doing drugs. I would try without success to convince her to turn herself into CPS. 

Through that long period, I was calling and writing everyone, from the Organization that connected me to her 12 years ago, One Spirit to her family members, to a few organizations involved in youth rehabilitation, to Naomi Schaefer Riley the author of 'The new trail of tears', to people in Pine Ridge that seemed to know better than me, and of course her case worker, who never answered any of my text messages or phone calls... 

What could be done for this girl? Any place she could go, anyone to find her on the streets and HELP...ANYONE?  This is the answer that I got the most: "That's the way it is here at the rez"... (Shrug and silence). 

Are there no other options? Nothing we can do for these kids...? Apparently, that is the way it is...

It took Miss.N to get into serious trouble with the police, in October 2023, for her to get the help that she needed. She was arrested and sent to youth jail. From there, to a detox facility in another state far from South Dakota. In a way I was relieved, she would be eating, sleeping in a safe place, and getting rehabilitation, education, and care, all under an indigenous cultural environment. In a way, it was a miracle, a privilege that she ended up there.   

She is going to spend a few more weeks in this facility before she returns "home". Yet that home is akin to tossing her back into a fire pit! I am exasperated by the systemic failures and the apparent blindness of those overseeing this situation. 

If someone is aware of her predicament, why do they persist in allowing such demeaning treatment? How can we as a society, subject this young person, who has endured unthinkable life's challenges alone, to such scraps.        

I'm not talking about the facility she is currently in. (I will not share this info for privacy reasons). They have taken her in with such love, care, and understanding. When I visited her last weekend, I saw it in her eyes, in her body, in her Spirit. Being there has been a lifesaver! Unfortunately, this is in place only for a few more weeks, when the plan is to return her back to the reservation.

We had a meeting with her counselor and another lady who manages all the information for culturally appropriate educational facilities that she could assist to when her time is up here. I really hope that we can find a place where she can have the constant support, structure, and education that she needs. There are only two years left before she turns 18, and by then, she will be on her own. No more government support. I worry a lot. But as we all know, worrying doesn't do anything. So I am actively looking for places that can support this person walk into new situations that will end up uplifting her into adulthood.      

Why aren't there more facilities to assist indigenous kids in her situation? Where are the people that care? where's the assistance? Where are the helpers? Where's humanity? 😩        I get that not everyone has an altruistic personality, but a little empathy maybe?  

As I struggle with my thoughts and how the world works, I will keep putting my feet on the line as much as I can. 

I am open to any information that any of you reading this post could share with me regarding the next steps to go forward with this huge undertaking. 

Gratitude 🩷✨  


  2017 at Crazy Horse Memorial. 



Thursday, February 1, 2024

Catching up

This was supposed to be a post for Instagram for November 2023, but when I finally,(after half an hour of writing), tried posting, a banner popped up announcing that my post had "too many characters"... Suddenly I remembered that I have this blog where (hopefully) no one will tell me that I write too much!😆
I left the post here brewing for three months... 😾 

Lack of technological knowledge is a problem for me in these times, I accept it!

If you are on this blog for the first time, and reading this post, I am repeating the story of how I started (and stopped 😭 ugh!) writing these stories. They are real. I got into them all by myself. 


For the past years, I have put three different (go-fund-me) fundraisers (all for December gifting) to be able to buy toys, and other items, toiletries and clothes, and gift cards for a family of (now 8 people in total) in Pine Ridge, SD. It could have been anywhere else in the world, but I was directed to this area for some mysterious reasons.

Needless to say, I have been criticized by many people, with harsh words about gifting this way, starting with the argument that giving to only a few people promotes jealousy amongst them, that these kids don’t need all these useless toys,(there might be some true in that 😑) and that this action is not going to save them or prevent them from being on drugs, or being abused nor will keep them away from drinking. The most used phrase I've heard is: "It won't change their lives". (Shrug).

That my effort is a meager act of egocentric "savior" complex just to make me feel better 😠. 

I listen, but I do have a different reason for why I do this, and yes, I totally think that it might be selfish, and for sure it makes me feel like a wholesome human being.

I think that we are like octopuses… 🐙 with so many magic limbs, that we keep to ourselves. 

Our limbs need to be extended out there to connect with others. 

The question is... if we can, why don’t we? Fear is what keeps most of us bound, fear of change, fear of what if… not trusting our inner compass, fear of the imagined complications that will come attached to our limbs extending to strangers… there are so many valid reasons why to keep ourselves contracted and quiet.

I believe this is my reason for living. If I can make someone feel good or special, give a compliment, or share a glimpse of hope... If I can make someone giggle… my job is done, and it has been done well. True, I did not save the world, but maybe I made someone's day a little better.  

My hopes and wishes are that we all get involved one way or another with someone who is having a challenging time and give from that bottomless love-pit that we all humans came with, to share in the world. 💓💓💓

I hope you have an inspired and productive rest of the week. Let’s remember and be grateful for all the opportunities we have been given in our lives, even though some experiences look and feel ugly, they seem to be presented to us to use for our own advancement, to expand our consciousness beyond our own boundaries and beliefs, if we even bother to look within.

I will leave you with some pictures of a few of the gifts that I've bought with the donations I have received through the years.


Gratitude always❤️✨